For the past few days, really almost a month, I’ve been confused a lot of stuff, especially about my “love life.” I, now, am on a date with Jesus and have come to realize that my love life isn’t something to be confused about. The only thing I should be confused about is where God is going to put me with my extrovert self. There have been a mass amount of things happening to me that my flesh would not do. It is only the power of the Jesus that I am able to meet at least 175 people in 1 week, 1 WEEK!! And I’m a natural introvert by heart.
I’m sitting in a booth at La Cabaña and I’m reminded by Him that I sat in a booth like this a few months ago when I was dating my ex. Christ keeps reminding me the intimacy I still need to have before I am intimate with anyone else, including my potential future boyfriend/husband.
I am still confused about this thing called a “love life.” There are things that demons still throw at me and distract me from my school work. Even through Jesus moments, I still here Satan in my head feeding me lies that my flesh wants to believe and keep inside my heart. With the Holy Spirit, I have been facing and telling demons to get out of my soul, room, house, the church, and even my friends’ lives. Since I have truly accepted my gift of discernment, I am able to tell off these demons like I have never before. I’m not as fearful and scared like I once was. Ever since I came back from kamp, I have felt like a different person since I was able to accept what I was denying. This has been a path of accepting the parts of intimacy I never knew in my relationship with Jesus.
“And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper.” 1 Kings 19:12
I love this verse cos of the depth it has when it comes to intimacy. Sometimes, whispering comes of as weird and uncomfortable. But for me it’s gentle. He loves me as His bride that he wants to whisper in my ear and tell me all the love He has for me and the goodness he has for me when I feel His touch. I can be washin dishes in my kitchen and I can feel the loving whisper that goes into my ear and his arms comin around my waste. Right there is my mental picture of intimacy.
Like I have said, my love life has been confusing. Satan has been feeding me lies about a guy that would never like me (in a romantic way). He keeps throwing little things in my way that would lead me to like him and him like me. That would have been the old me. I so thought it was all Jesus saying he’s the one for you, he’s perfect for you. ABSOLUTELY NOT.
Like Jesus said, intimacy is still a problem I have with people. I have to be intimate with Him BEFORE I AM INTIMATE WITH ANYONE ELSE. Keep on praying for me gals.
Love & Best Wishes,