Satan attacks very easily where God is so, so, so powerful. On July 19 at camp, he attacked every one of us as komos. He did not want us to go anywhere. His playground was the kitchen messing with our minds. One thing was happening after another. But as faithful, dearing coworkers and friends, we stood in a circle and prayed for our sisters in Christ. That was one of the most powerful prayers I’ve heard in a very long time. Four of us, including myself, starting crying because of how the Lord Jesus is so, so sovereign and how His love he has for us is so severely deep.
But the number one thing that is constant on my mind is how cruel Satan is when we are the most desperate for God. In the past (almost) 4 months, the Lord has been calling me closer and closer to him. I have shared in a previous blog about intimacy with Him. Jesus and I have had deep conversations, shared food, picked out presents for people, gone grocery shopping, and made life decisions together. But Satan keeps throwing things in my face about my past in my face. Mainly, it has been about my previous relationship. I don’t know why it has come up in my mind, but all I know is I do not like it all. I have other things to worry about. I’m past everything that I’ve dealt with in the past year and a half.
The reason why I share this and other things about my life is to say that it relieves stress for me. The verse I share in my sidebar has been a rock for me since it is the foundation of knowing I do not have to be okay. I do not have to have it all together every single moment of the day. I do not have to put a façade like I did in high school. This is the real me. Writing about what is on my heart has been hard but has been so worth it.