I have expressed my emotions and feelings in all sorts of ways in this blog for the past (almost) 2 years. I have shared my doubts, faithlessness, feelings of humanity, and spirituality. I have learned in the past two years that I have the right to feel what I feel; it has opened my eyes to see my feelings come to life and look at it so I can work with them to make me a better person. I could have dealt better with some feelings and encounters I have had with people, but I don’t regret doing it. I have learned from it. I am not sorry for feeling the way I have felt. I should have dealt with situations better, but Jesus makes me realize I fall short. He all makes us realize that we could have done better, but it happened for a reason. Despite what I humanly feel, I won’t dismiss it, because it is a real feeling, so I should address it in a spiritual and practical manner. We wouldn’t be in the place we are right now. I would not be in the place where I am right now.
I would’ve been better at tumbling, soccer, cheerleading, and gymnastics if I had practiced enough when I was younger. I would’ve been better at piano lessons if I practiced enough. I would’ve been better mentally and emotionally in high school if I dealt with my emotions in a better way. But I didn’t.
I should’ve been better with my grades if I studied more and made a better commitment to my college goals. I should’ve been better with my sleeping habits if I got 8-9 hours a sleep a night in college. I should’ve been better with my eating habits in college if I wasn’t so concerned with the way I looked and felt about myself. But I didn’t.
I could’ve been better at handling my emotions in disputes with relationships. I could’ve been a better friend if I wasn’t so mentally trapped with issues with my mental health. I could’ve been a better girlfriend if I wasn’t so caught up in my selfishness and tenacity to what I thought would last a long time. But I didn’t.
Since I have changed home churches, I have no regrets changing from my last one. Being at my new home church, Jesus has taught me that being in a should’ve, would’ve, could’ve land is okay, but I shouldn’t dwell in it. I loved my old church but the Lord was telling me to move on and grow somewhere else. Where I dwell, I will grow – in a church and in my future.
Some things you can’t help, but the outcome surely does change your perspective. We fall short of His glory, but His mercies are new every morning.
“the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe. For there is no distinction: for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.”
Romans 3:22-26
Love,
Annie
Being Annie and Disciple 